Weirdly low ceilings in new KX Woolies actually purpose-built for community always on their knees

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Despite initial confusion, it has been revealed the inexplicably low ceilings in the new Kings Cross Woolies Metro were in fact designed to cater to the local community's way of life.

"It wasn't an architectural error - no," says Woolies rep Ben Dover. "This whole store has been fit out to suit the posture of our regular clientele; that being red-blooded gay men. After conducting thorough research, we surmised that most of their time was spent either on their knees, or on all fours - so a ceiling height of just 4 feet seemed sufficient."

The unique design has been so well-received by the local community that there are plans to make further changes.

"We're thinking of doubling the size of the deli, in response to an unusually high demand for local meat. And also replacing the struggling bread and muesli aisle, often referred to as 'Carb Alley', with an extra personal care aisle dedicated entirely to loofas."

Sean Corcoran