Poppers ban shaping up to be Marriage Equality 2.0

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“Gay, straight, black or white - monging is a human right!”

The inhalant drug, Amyl, commonly used by tight-ass partygoers for short recreational highs; along with pussy-ass bottoms for sex, could soon be outlawed in Australia.

The proposed ban has sent shockwaves throughout the gay community, and the associated backlash is shaping up to be on par with last year’s impassioned campaign to achieve marriage equality.

Whilst some might have thought that the gays would've turned their attention and loud lispy mouths to global LGBT injustices, it is in fact smelly little bottles of VHS cleaner right here at home that have people getting their Daily Jocks in a twist.

"Amyl-geddon is coming," says popper-lover Taylor. "We're battening down the hatches and preparing for the worst - which is the thought of not being able to prepare for the wurst!"

Rumour has it that there is a to be a ‘1000 Bottoms Twerking Rally’ at Taylor Square next week.

OK that last part is true. Wait, all of it is true. Sigh, I don’t even know any more Sydney…

Sean Corcoran