Man refreshingly lists himself as “not that happily partnered” on Insta

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Suspicions about Roger’s over-zealous DM-sliding have been confirmed this week in the form of a slight tweak to his otherwise ‘happy couple’ profile.

The account, which features a dry-retch-inducing grid of Roger and his slightly-less-attractive boyfriend Lorenzo doing almost everything together, (except the thing we know they’ve stopped doing), has been updated to reflect Roger’s true feelings about his relationship.

‘Not that happily partnered’ reads his profile, followed by the boyfriends emoji and wandering eye emoji… and then some other basic AF emojis like a wave and weightlifter or something.

“Sadly”, says Roger, “the only thing I’m sliding into these days is other people’s DMs.”

Indeed.

And whilst it’s great that Roger can be honest about it in such a public forum, our delightfully thirsty receipts have now lost all their power.

Sean Corcoran