Man inhales deeply before attempting to navigate sea of exes in Beresford courtyard

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"Hi-Bye, Hi-Bye, Hi-Bye, Hi-Bye."

In what has to be the gay man's equivalent of walking a high-wire above a pool of crocodiles in tight polo shirts, Christian Brown is about to make his way across the Beresford Sundays courtyard to get himself another drink.

Along the way, he'll try to avoid no less than 5 ex-boyfriends, 8 people he's had ‘things’ with, 14 one-night-stands and about 2 Bodyline 'you'll dos'.

Remarkably, Christian will manage to do all this, all-the-while managing to eye-fuck the sexually-frustrated couple in the corner who look to be about two more G&Ts away from opening things up.

Whilst some men prefer to do a two-step kind of dance, skipping from side-to-side using friends and acquaintances as shields, Christian has found most success in opting for a 'running of the bulls' approach.

Drinks will be spilled for sure, but it's the only way he has a fighting chance of reaching the bar unscathed.

Goodluck Christian. May the Fuckboy Gods be on your side.

Sean Corcoran