Man in his 90s mistakenly attends Pump: The 90s party

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"There goes my knee!"

Resident oldie, Joseph Vain, has found himself in a state of fluro and cardiac arrest after unwittingly attending a young people's disco.

Upon entering the newly opened Universal, Mr Vain immediately realised he had made a mistake - but then suddenly copped a rogue elbow to face by a boy doing the macarena.

After receiving some first aid to his left eye at the bar, Joseph soon became the hit of the party once patrons realised there was a literal Cotton Eye Joe in their midst.

All the attention was too much for Joe, who unfortunately suffered a total eclipse of bloodflow to the heart.

It would appear that rhythm is a killer, as much as a dancer.

Sean Corcoran