"I think you go to my gym" says creep who totally knows he does

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Next-level stalker, Harry, has managed to hold it together and appear relatively un-stalkerish whilst intentionally bumping into his guy-obsession of the last few months.

Harry had timed this falsely serendipitous meeting right down to the minute, just as "Red Jacket Guy" was finishing up his regular 8.45am morning coffee he'd picked up from Coffee Tea & Me.

"Coffee Tea & Do Me" thought Harry to himself, as he perched himself a sensible distance away from his future ex-boyfriend.

Finally, once working up the courage and confident that his raging erection was hidden from view, Harry led with his most trusted of all opening lines: "I think you go to my gym...?"

Sure enough, Red Jacket Guy had fallen for the trap hook line and sinker, as if Harry was just some passing stranger who totally didn't swipe through the 'People You May Know' carousel every night in the hopes of finding him.

"Oh, yeah...?" replied Red Jacket Guy.

He was in.

Well done Harry. You creepy, creepy bastard.

Sean Corcoran