"I don't regret enough" says homo who reckons he could've gone harder on the long weekend

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"I'm a bad gay. Bad bad bad."

Roslyn Gardens hornbag, Steve, is coming to terms with the fact that maybe he's getting a bit old, after having one of the least sluttiest Queens Birthday long weekends of his life.

Despite having a roaring orgy on Friday night with a group of relatively attractive strangers, Steve found himself resigned to the couch watching old eps of RuPaul's for the rest of the weekend - and he's quite ashamed about it.

"It's just such a waste" says Steve. "I'm only young once y'know. And there's only so many long weekends a year to get off my face three nights in a row, make bad choices, burn through a few packs of condoms, and still have all of Monday to repent and recover. I'm a bad gay. Bad bad bad."

Steve is right. Like honestly, he may as well move to Beecroft, get a job at The Coffee Club and spend his nights watching Packed to the Rafters on DVD.

Sean Corcoran