Gay men in Hell are reportedly loving the punishment


"That hurts! Do it again."

Arguably well-known psychic medium, John Edward, has revealed that homosexual men he talks to in Hell are actually having the time of their lives.

As the spirit of one fabulous (but also murderous) queen has admitted, "I get my nipples pulled and my arse whipped every day. And I have to wear these tight, suffocating clothes that make my pecs pop, and cut off circulation in exactly the right place. This is truly heaven."

John has also informed us that gays in the Netherworld are oddly lining up for 'The Torture Chamber' - a room full of speakers playing Aqua's debut album, Aquarium, on a continuous loop.

What's more, Hell is reportedly getting so hot in there that residents are being forced to take off all their clothes. Which, is apparently also fine.

All this frivolous fun in a place meant for misery has made the Devil so angry that he's threatened to send his gay residents to Heaven to become personal slaves, where they'll have to give Paul Walker a daily sponge bath. Not sure that'll help.

Sean Corcoran