Domestic gay slow-cooks on Saturday night instead of getting slowly cooked

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"Mongolian lamb is the new monging out!"

Local foodie, Brenden, has this weekend simultaneously reached peak gay and peak boring, after slow-cooking himself a lamb ragu instead of hitting up da clubs.

While all his abs-chasing friends who don't eat solid foods were out all weekend trying to make Universal a thing, Brenden was nose-deep in his new cookbook 'Needs More Jizz: Cooking For Gays.'

"As a wise woman once said..." proclaims Brenden, "there's only two types of people in the world - the ones that entertain, and the ones that observe.' I guess I'm an observer. Of expelling steam."

It should be said that Brenden's ragu tasted altogether delicious, but if he keeps staying in every weekend he won't be getting lamb shanked anytime soon.

Sean Corcoran