Candyland vs. La Leche vs. Apollo has become gay man’s Sophie’s Choice

Screen Shot 2019-02-21 at 11.04.59 AM.png

“Can’t sleep. Can’t eat. Can’t mince.”

Every year when party season rolls around Frank’s anxiety levels start to skyrocket as he tries to suppress his FOMA (Fear Of Missing Ass.)

With so many opportunities to get fucked up on offer, Frank is terrified of picking the ‘shit party’ - or even worse - the same one his ex is going to.

This is despite the fact that by 6pm Frank will have no idea where he is anyway.

If you know someone also experiencing this dilemma, kindly direct them to the bin.

Sean Corcoran