ARQ set to build connecting tunnel to FF Darlo to form one big Superclub

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"This will change everything. And nothing."

In what seems like a logical next step for both venues, ARQ nightclub and equally gay hot spot Fitness First Darlinghurst are set to merge into one entity.

The move would see a giant laser-filled tunnel built underneath Taylor Square which would connect ARQ's lower-ground bathroom to the male steam room at Fitness First.

Construction is set to begin immediately - and taking only a matter of hours thanks to the contracted all-gay construction company reportedly being very proficient at tunnelling holes.

"I think it's a fabulous idea," says FF member Anthony. "Whenever I'm not here showing off my chest in a stringy singlet, I'm at ARQ showing off my chest in a stringy singlet. Plus buying vodka sodas and adding my own pre-workout will be way cheaper than those extortionate vodka redbulls."

Management of both venues are reportedly very excited about the merge. "We're moving the squat racks to the main ARQ stage, which is sure to be a much better show than men in wigs and kimonos," says ARQ's manager. "Plus the gym showers are set to be 24/7 foam party. Customers have assured us that they will happily provide the foam."

Perhaps most exciting however is the fact that instead of being kicked out at 6am, patrons will now be funnelled to a Body Pump class playing the exact same music.

Sean Corcoran