90% of The Colombian's patrons are actually paid actors pretending to be having a good time

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"Even Daniel Day-Lewis would have his work cut out for him. "

When it comes to the inexplicable popularity of local back-up plan, The Colombian Hotel, it appears the secret is finally out.

It has been revealed that most of the revellers who spend their night drinking and dancing in Sydney's unashamedly seediest establishment are actually paid to be there.

"This is the hardest role I've ever undertaken," says NIDA graduate Cameron. "Portraying the idea that this is a legitimate place to be seen, and somewhere you can have a remotely good time is requiring every fibre of my being."

"If it wasn't for us actors being here singing karaoke, cheering on half-naked South Americans, and trying to awkwardly form a dance floor - this place would just be those same three creepy guys staring at everyone from the window. And probably that dickhead that writes The Pink Verandah. Apparently he loves it here."

We would Like tO remoVe that last quotE from the record.

Sean Corcoran